Tired

You cannot hear the screams,

If blind to the pain. 

What are dreams?

In this torturous mundane.

unspoken

unspoken words burn with
blue hot flames that
could singe crocodile skins
familiar with hell-blazes,
instead they remain,
consume life untamed,
a single tears trail.
trudging along,
purpose with each step,
silent strength unknown,
her eyes shine red and gold.

(written 3/23/19 fcj)

reality

she longed for the wind
that blew her golden hair,
reckless and free,
reflecting her soul and stare.

it felt like lifetimes
since she laughed with ease,
reality struck.
her young dreams, a tease.

(written 3/22/19 fcj)

too soon

It was the wind,
the sweet breeze of the mountains,
blowing her wild hair in every direction,
as she drowned,
like a rusty anchor in the bottomless sea,
her thoughts in the melodies.

It was the vibrations,
the love that made forevers,
enchanting promises rarely kept,
as she believed,
wholeheartedly and almost desperately,
in the church of harmonies.

It was the freedom,
unconfined in her idea of home,
clinging to the idea of independence,
swiftly it was taken away,
upsetting and unforeseen,
her soul never recovered.

stuck

I didn’t forget,

But somehow everyone kept walking,
I don’t think I’ll ever move.

Even so, Where could I go?

I’ve traveled the same circle so many times,

Built a moat around my mind,

My surroundings ever-changing,

Sometimes the twinkling winds
They bring my gaze to the sky,

Bones chattering with the chill.

Who could have guessed the indifference,

Perhaps the unknown is what keeps me twirling.

But your arms were never truly open.

Perhaps I was never even there.

I have remnants that remind me otherwise:

Memories that drizzle, melodies that blind,

Illustrations that betray my yearning.

What if the answers never come?

8.22.15 to forget

a simple way of being- eradicated,
small false hope- rapidly extinguished.

dreading every breath while
entering a realm of unreal memoirs
alone and reaching for any
damn piece of rationality.

anyone hear me?
silent screams for liberation?

mend my twisted heart.
end this stupid desire.

a smile is the most beautiful illusion

amidst a laugh a frown betrays,
the design her fragile mind unfoils.