she gives, she takes, she rewards and punishes.

she whispers scary truths in the middle of the night,
worthless, unhappy, lacking.

without her, smiles and laughs,
freedom, essentially.

too much time enslaved,
to let go now.
clinging on to the only thing remembered,
the only one that gave worth and purpose.

give me strength to reach myself,
promises to follow command,
i will be strong,
please give me strength.

a blur of questions and thoughts.

who are you to trust,
when warned not to trust anyone?
how do you let anyone in,
with a mind set to doubt?

there's so much hate, there's so much love,
but even he has hope,
while the one he loved has heroin and lies.

i love you so,
ill be there for you,
ups or downs.

but can i trust you?
ill tell you about my past tomorrow,
or the next day.

real trust is so hard to come by,
real is so hard to come by.

you know i care,
do i love or am i in love?
what is love?
how do i trust someone i love?
how do you lie to someone you love?
too many questions for a sober heart and mind.
drained of emotions.
choppy and mismatched.