whoops.

she saw her brain deteriorate right before her eyes,
it caught her heart and held it tight,
breathing louder, more struggled.

silent tears came unwillingly.

she knew of problems,
her thoughts were filled.
false happiness came and went,
both welcomed and cast away.

she will never forget those eyes.

kitchen tables, long nights.

dead eyes observed ordinary yellow walls,
wooden floorboards dirty with age,
cigarette ash litters the table,
wind permeating smoke through the air.

thoughtless, emotionless, numb,
she sat for hours,
blankly observing with her dull green eyes,
a book, a cigarette, a show, a wall.

the shouts didnt faze her,
she rarely noticed a burn,
or a scratch, or a bruise.
no one ever really saw.

its not just tea in her mug,
warming her numb insides,
spreading fire within her.

another cigarette to spend the time.

departed

unneeded jealousy flows from small oceans,
dripping with each thought of need,
onto a feather that creates the path.

oversized lumps of greys and reds,
convulsing in fear, constantly absent,
eroding with each day,
thumpthump. thumpthump.

at first, green leaves, and then the roses bloomed.
thump thump. thump thump.
then bright rays burnt smiling faces and lumps remained couched.
thump.    thump.    thump.
then colors whistled to the ground, deteriorating.
thump.
the cold took her final breath.

peace.

this darkness never settles,
this chill always lingers.

grasping a small cup of warmth,
spreading peace throughout my limbs.

green eyes gaze into grey skies,
a gust of wind scatters her thoughts.

she found home in a distant place,
she found peace within herself.

momma.

rainmaker, spiritual guide,

she holds weight upon her shoulders,

strange eyes peer into confidence,

soul soaked with character castigation.

her heart runs in countless intentions,

her brain pounds, hung on former standards,

unable to control strain left within her eyes.

dilated pupils hide secrets in her irises,

craving the romance of a million bright roses.

she steps silently.

whoops.

it was just so easy,

shiny metal against soft skin,

those lines were so easy to break,

when no one cares.

they never see what's inside,

you do,

when youre alone and terrified,

you see the fragile red seep.

it stains the unimportant,

pours out like tears.

your heart crying.