yearned to say.

the entire time,
i wanted to say i love you.

the entire time,
i pushed the thought away.

when we were on your couch,
watching tv,
when we were in your bed,
listening to the radio.

when you hugged me,
when you held my hand,
when you kissed me.

when we walked on the road,
when we sat in beat up chairs,
when we sent up smoke.

the entire time,
i wanted to say three words.

i love you.

now, i dont know what that means,
but i care, oh so much,
and i know you do too.

so i hope this is love,
did i mention i wanted to say i love you?

im a hopeless romantic.

the thought has been lingering,
for quite some time,
unattainable, i had thought,
until everything changed.

i wanted jealousy, primarily,
but i found something new,
someone who cares,
mostly, at least.

although youre not reliable,
youre better than i thought,
than i thought this would be.

youre the arms i crave,
the lips i seek,
the hand i fumble for.

i want to leave everything,
just to be with you.

its soon, i know,
and it may be my overactive imagination,
its only been days,
but i want this to last.

you.

i can still remember your touch,
they way you made me feel,
loved and safe.

everytime i think about,
our nights together,
i tingle.
everywhere.

my heart flutters,
and my stomach is all in knots,
beautiful knots.

my mind still remembers your face,
i remember the laughs,
everything we did.

you make me feel beautiful,
you make me feel pretty,
you make me feel loved.

the current state of my mind.

the simplest gaze upon your face,
your warm brown eyes,
your cute face.

leaves my stomach in knots,
and my mind in shreds.

seeing you with her,
not even someone new,
turns my thoughts in a tumble.

i hate seeing your name,
i hate seeing your face.

i hate the way your eyes,
make me remember everything ive done,
with you,
and around you.

i hate the way that hating you,
is just trying to cover up,
how much i like you,
because i cant hate you,
even if i wanted to.