stop.

i dont even want to consider,
you might be ignoring me,
technical difficulties perhaps,
but today,

today, i stop.

i stop thinking about you,
dreaming about you,
imagining anything about you.

today, i stop.

i stop getting butterflies when i see you,
flutters that make me fidget,
an excitement that runs through my head.

today, i stop.

i stop this kind of intoxication
it's not what i need,
nothing like what i need,

but it's what i want. and i cant stop.

opposite.

thoughts blowing through my mind,
like the wind today,
softly stirring the leaves,
and my hair from it's polished place.

this peaceful scene,
completely opposite to the chaos,
the completely disorganized thoughts,
thoughts of mine.

a child.

regressing to my childhood fancies,
the sky a dark moody purple,
glowing yellow moon,
shedding light on the ground.

green grass wet with impending dew,
cold under my dirt tinted feet,
fresh from playing in the playground dirt.

swinging as high as i can,
looking towards the star-speckled sky,
giving off an aura of hope and peace.

running as fast as i can,
trying to outrun the friends,
who only i know and see.

playing make believe,
i could be a ninja or a hunter,
i could be an undercover cop,
i could be a superhero,
but just tonight,
when i am still a child.

butterflies.

floating through the air,
weightless and dreamy,
softly landing in the grass,
or on an aromatic flower.

soft, pastel-colored wings,
patterned or solidly beautiful,
yellow, orange, black, or red.

awesome independence,
something the human race can never experience,
stuck on solid ground,
instead of floating freedom.

love?

to be filled with hope,
rather than despair,
feeling like i could go anywhere,
even go flying through the air.

speaking with you,
fills my confused mind,
if i cant be with you,
id rather be blind.

drowning in lovesickness,
i dream of you frequently,
cant stop... i just cant stop,
being halfway, just a little bit,
in love with you, maybe.

us.

my mind throwing itself everywhere,
i want to see you,
i want to be with you,
i want you to think of me how i want us to be.

happily smiling,
walking hand in hand,
sneaking outside,
for something illegal at our age,
and then kisses for only us to see.

i want to be,
what you wanted,
three long years ago,
i still remember that scene,
in front of the band room,
so childish. but i cant forget.

i will never forget.

the bare minimum.

across the threshold of darkness,
i wander.

mind wandering aimlessly,
through the aisles of my thoughts,
the lanes of my desires,
the streets of my confusion.

i want to blur the line of my thoughts,
create a whirlpool for my racing mind.

dumb myself down until,
i only think necessarily,
nothing extra,
staying alive,
survival,
nothing.