you are not my friend... but we're friends.

its something from the past,
wishing and dreaming,
in this friendship, we were never really friends.

melodies float through my mind,
cluttering my mind from sanity,
insanity whirling about.

but you dont want this,
and neither does this heart i own.

i want something familiar.
youre something familiar.
but i dont want you,
and i certainly dont need you.

tired.

i wish you still smiled when you saw my face,
now its just expected,
i feel ordinary,
what happened to our forever?

long nights, awake, thinking of you,
i doubt i cross your mind so frequently,
i wish to rip my heart out,
and feel nothing, feel numb.

i just want to feel special,
is that too much to ask?
im tired of ordinary.
splash, drop, swirl.

im just tired,
i want to feel alive,
but instead,
ill feel nothing.