disordered, empty, filling.

dreaming of sticks,
wanting, wanting,
praising grumbles,
seeking empty.

filling the emptiness,
more, more,
regretful,
large.

negative,
sorrowful,
hoping impossibilities,
broken.

quiet,
internet lurking,
beds company,
lonely.

loud,
out there,
attention,
need.

lust,
love,
sad,
bad.

b e d lets.

r m e bering.
o p a
k t d
e y
n side?


crazy,
breathe,
killing,
lungs.

sip,
gulp,
shot,
warm.

swallow,
breathe,
smell,
burn.

filling,
filling,
filling...

broken,
empty,
again.

you're all assholes.

escaping to the trees,
higher than where i want to be,
above them all,
that cause me pain.

tears fall,
onto innocent leaves,
broken branches,
cold ground.

he wants to get away,
he wants to leave,
but he forgets,
that he leaves me here,
in this hell,
alone.

i want to leave,
but i stay to please,
i dont know what to do,
i dont want to stay alive.

burning.

swirling,
white puffs ascending,
orange glow,
penetrating the darkness.

radiating in my throat,
burning lungs,
minty taste,
beautiful smoky smell.

in the early morning,
dew grazing the sweet grass,
unclearing fog,
still dark.

or in the night,
or in a tree,
or down the street,
beautiful destruction.

i need to stop thinking about mary.

pains shoot through me.

my heart being ripped
shredded and torn.

my stomache growling,
for something to make it whole.

my knees weak,
from certain exposures.

my brain stopped
melted and unfurled.

something to numb me,
something to love me,
something to make me feel whole
well, and normal again.

solitude.

grabbing for skin,
trying to get closer,
shredding shields,
put up for the rest of the world.

hands placed with care,
lovingly feeling,
its me and you,
in solitude.

no one else matters,
no one else cares,
its just me and you,
in solitude.

humans.

i love,
and i lose.

i feel sorrow,
and i smile.

i take a grave expression,
and i feel grief.

i feel,
and i fantasize.

i have hopes,
and happiness.

this is what makes me real.
all the dreams and aspirations,
all the bad luck and despair,
molds me, a human being.

i live for no qualms,
i live for you and me,
i live for the pursuit of happiness,
i try to live.

im flawed beyond repair,
but then again, so are you.
im just another human being,
trying to live in this life.

not an ordinary poetry post.

recently, ive been feel quite disconnected, empty, and distracted. so i cant write a poem, like i mentally cant finish one. i start one, and then i get blocked. so these are the starts ive written that i might turn into something later perhaps.

1.
early winter day,
cool, but sunny.
wind slowly ruffling,
the leaves and branches.

2.
soft rain drops,
falling on my cheeks,
and in my hair,
making me the same,
just another piece of nature.

3.
sometimes,
i like ripping out grass.
destroying something simple,
makes me feel better.

4.
we destroy the limited freedom we get to the best of our abilities.